Dear Grandma;
My Grandpa died last week after being very sick for a long time.  My mom says that he is with the angels.  My Grandma says that he is in Heaven.  My brother says he is just dead and it means I can't ever see him again.  I just wish he was still here with me.  Where do you think he is?
A Grandchild

Dear Grandchild;
The most important question here is " where do "you" think he is?  "If you have a minister or clergyman, perhaps, you could go have a talk with them.  I believe there may be counselors  at your school, or through your Mental Health Association, to help you through this.  The most important thing to remember is that it is O.K. to grieve and very natural to miss your Grandpa..  I think that both your mom and your Grandma are right.  Your brother is at least, partially accurate.  Your Grandpa's physical  body no longer has any life force.  I can't explain exactly what life force is, but, I do know, that the live bodies have it and the dead ones don't. The love that you and your grandfather shared will "never" be gone.  It is my experience that no matter how often  I close my eyes and remember what one, of my own father's,  hugs felt like, it's almost as good as if he was right there with me, hugging me again.  I "know" he still influences many of my decisions.  When I don't know what to do I think about some of the conversations he and I had in the past.  I loved him a lot and respected his opinions on things.  If I can't decide what I should do, when I have a problem, I just think, "What would Dad do?"  It's my belief that I will see my dad in eternity and "my belief" that you too, will see your Grandpa.  Ask yourself what "Love" would believe and you will be right on target for your answer.  Love, Grandma  Copyright 1998

Dear Grandma;
My aunt gave me a kitten for Christmas and I love it dearly.  Although I clean his litter box every day he has managed to wet on my mom's carpet.  She says that he won't stop now and needs to be put to sleep before the whole house smells and the carpet is ruined.  Isn't there something I can do to save him??    A cat lover 

Dear Cat Lover;
I love cats but I assure you that your mom has plenty to be worried about.  Why not talk to your local SPCA or a veterinarian and ask what they suggest?  I had the same problem at one time.  I cleaned the box twice a day and washed it out every time.  It's possible that another animal left its scent on the carpet and your kitten is trying to mark it's territory.  Put tinfoil all around the area he is having his accidents. Cats generally do not like the feel or sound and will shy away from the tinfoil.  Once the area has been cleaned and dried, thoroughly, sprinkling a little cayenne pepper on the area will often work too.  Putting him to sleep seems quite drastic to me.  If your mom insists the cat be gone, try and find a good home for him in the country where he can do what cats love to do.  Mouse.  (Watch for rural homes with barns.)  Pets are lots of work. Tell your mom, my own cat eventually stopped and started using his litter box.  Good Luck. 
Love Grandma          copyright 1998