Dear Grandma;
Thank you for writing your column.  Finally we can expect some straight answers.  My friends say that its O.K. to ask you intimate questions.  I am too embarrassed to ask anyone else.    (I'll be honest and tell you I am not using my real name.)  I hope you will answer in your column, anyway.  My older brother caught me doing "the M thing".  (I am sooo embarrassed!)  He says that the bible says that it is wrong to masturbate.  Does that mean I won't get to go to heaven?  Does it mean I am bad?    From:  Too young to be Hellbound.

Dear Too young to be Hellbound;
Your question is one I wondered about myself, once or twice, when I was your age.  The question  deserves an answer.  Will you get to Heaven?  Since this question has "biblical" connotations, it, should be answered by a  minister or clergyman, you trust.  I found some reference in the bible to  the information you are seeking and will  leave it to you to interpret it and see what you think.  Look in  the book of Romans.  Personally, I hope that God loves us whether we masturbate or not.  IT does not mean you are "bad". I am sure it will not keep you out of Heaven either.    If it does, you are going to have lots of "good" company    God doesn't create "bad" people.  People create "bad" people.  When I was young we had a saying that went something like this.  "There are two kinds of people in the world.  Those that masturbate and those that lie about it."
( I'm looking forward to meeting  God and asking him about it, personally.  After all he did make our arms long enough to reach our genitals.  He also made it feel very good.)  So Hellbound, it will have to be "your" decision, but,  if you will pardon the pun, "Don't beat up on yourself, for it."      Love, Grandma      Copyright 1998

Dear Grama;
Sometimes I just cannot understand my mother.  (Especially when her friends are over.)  If one of them ask me a question and I answer it truthfully, my mom says, "For goodness sake, use a little tact."  She acts embarrassed like I have done something wrong or stupid..  I looked it up and the dictionary says "tact" is a delicate perception of the right thing to do without offending."    I don't mean to offend anyone, but I don't want to lie, either.  Mom got all tongue tied when I asked her if "she wanted me to lie to her?" Grandma,  I read your column when you told someone that "The truth could never hurt you".  So why does Mom act like I should lie?  .Did you lie??    Love Tactless.

Dear Tactless;
Absolutely not!  "Tact", often, is nothing more than lying.  At your age it is considered  "being tactless."    When you are your  mother's age they'll  call it, "being brutally honest" or "blunt".  Wait until you are "elderly".  They'll call it "cute".    A trick I use, when someone asks me a question and I don't want to offend them by being  truthful, is to simply say, "That's an interesting question, I'll have to think about it."  NO one wants you to lie! If you are being asked for your opinion, revert the question back to the person asking it.  For instance,when someone asks you what you think,  you could say, "More importantly, what do "you" think?"    When in doubt, ask yourself, "what would "love" say now?"
Love, Grandma      Copyright 1998